I had been planning this trip for quite some time. Translation in Banker terms: Knew about it 2 months ago, booked tickets to hotel and concert 1 week ago, Actual ETA was - 7 hours (late, almost never showed, barely survived). That’s the summary of it.

Here’s the long version. Ginette got a shot to dj at the Global Gathering festival in Malacca. Firstly, how weird is it that Global Gathering Fest would happen in sleepy Malacca?! Secondly, how cool is it that Simian Mobile Disco was playing at this gig? Thirdly: my friend got a chance to dj at a pretty big dig! Of course, work commitments aside, I had to go. There were 3 objectives for Malacca: 1) To enjoy the drive along the N-S Highway with an awesome driving soundtrack 2) To eat Peraknakan food and sample the best of Malaccan fare 3) To head to Global Gathering and partee out, there was even a rollar disco apparantly. So I grabbed my rollar girl white outfit - short dress with frills and everything, gold earrings definitely a must.

Here comes the miserable part. I get a call from my MD who wants to turn a pitch out by Saturday. My hopes of leaving at 7am to be in time for breakfast in Malacca - dashed. Coordinating a pitch between L.A and Singapore meant that I got screwed on timing and barely made a first draft until 3.pm. At which point, I had to really consider fucking over the weekend and just sit around and wait for comments. But Douglas felt that it was probably a risk we could take so along the way, I am sitting in the car, on the mobile, making changes and asking my analyst to cover me. Upon reaching Malacca at 7PM, not am…I am running for dear life to the swanky hotel opposite to buy an internet card to work. With some haste, a presentation is sent out to the client at 9pm. Which by then, all the freaking restaurants had closed. So no peraknakan food. The only option left was to sit at the crowded and touristy Jonka Street and have assam laksa - a perenial supper fave in malacca. Douglas is weathering through this with great style, and I am just a rut from managing travel, work and commitments to friends.

Jonka street is charming, if not overcrowded. As usual, Singaporeans in Malaysia always get insulted. The tension is great. I misheard the price of beer and promptly got scolded by the uncle, " Wah! You think what, so cheap. even in Singapore, not so cheap OK!" Fine. Actually, the beer was pretty expensive, even by Singapore standards ($7.50 a bottle) but whatever - insulting one’s neigbours is de rigour. I accept that. It’s fine. Me just a weekend tourist, i can handle that…

Douglas and his assam laksa:

Night market scene: Like every night market in Asia…selling strange and useless things

Karaoke nightclub in traditional community center (Huay Guan): Audience comes included:

More useless things!

Dinner done, we hurried to get the bus to the party venue, a 45minute journey into the jungle zones of Malacca it seems. Except…the bus never came. Despite copious number of calls to the phantom bus driver, who could only promise that he was "on the way", 1 hour and half hours later, we pretty much grew sick of waiting. The other option turned out to be far more exciting - Filippino lounge band singing 80’s rock songs in a hotel bar. It’s like a rude flip back to Insead days, where one takes a bunch of individually bright and smart people who have some taste but as a group, makes extremely awful decisions

No party, No peraknakan food. I am starting to feel like an unhappy monkee…well, at least i achieved 1 out of 3 objectives. The drive with bombass soundtrack. ah well, i think i am finally learning the nut and bolts of being a junior banker.

We finally have one NMP (which is just a nice way of saying, you are important enough to be a minister but not really important enough to manage any substantive portfolios in government) who wants to repeal the Penal Code against gays in Singapore.

I am a strong believe of personal freedoms and what does not result in an uneconomical or negative spillover effect (societal deadweight loss) should be accepted. The multitude of responses from various Singaporeans is hysterical if not overly conservative at best. Everything from crying religion forbids! to NMPs should be championing more "worthy" causes such as the rising costs of living were raised. Nobody bothered to come forward to truly champion the rights of freedoms. Some lackadaisical answers, a true reflection of how we as a people tend towards the preferred method of "sweeping things under the carpet", mentioned that laws should be laws but just not enforced. It’s ok to have a Penal Code in place to persecute gay people, but we just won’t do it in practice!

There’s a sordid lack of thought or tolerance here. Firstly, laws outline the ecosystem in which we live in. Laws are there for a reason - no, they are not to be made just to be ignored. Laws should be about protection, protection of the minority, the needy, the right vs the wrong and not about persecution. It should provide you and I an avenue to appeal to, to arbitrate when wrongful deeds have been done unto us. Laws and governments aim to protect social goods, such as the environment, cleanliness on the streets, basic freedoms for all. But when I think about all these things from a utilitarian standpoint, I just don’t see what 2 people who decide a private contract between themselves has anything to do with what laws or governments ought to saying with gays.

By that, I am arguing that governments should not be moral agents. And the legal system ought to be blind. They should not tell us how to live our lives, what value systems we must have because any well-educated nation like us should be able to make clear choices. Why is it that we fight for personal choices to be heard, but only when it’s convenient to do so? Imagine if fried chicken was outlawed because vegans took over the world, wouldn’t we still want the personal choice to decide what goes into our stomachs? Now one step harder: Abortion. It’s murder, is it or is it not? Society has been able to rationalize that it isn’t because single unwed mothers become part of an imporverished state, a cycle of violence. That rape victims should be allowed to make that personal choice to abort. How did we as a society decided that one personal choice was more legitimate than another?

The idea of homosexuality is not so odd or foreign. The Greeks, who brought us modern philosophy, the birth of math and the idea of democracy were prone to having homosexual liasons. Men had boy lovers and women had female lovers. As long as someone was loving someone else, it’s all good. The Chinese eunach, an extremely feminine man, are all examples of society’s tryst with homosexuality. The discussion here is about social boundaries, which ebb and change with cultural norms. this is not a black and white right versus wrong. It’s a matter of taste.

In Singapore, that is hardly the case as our government spends more time moralizing the population than necessary. I ask myself, do I prefer gay people who are socially valuable (they pay taxes, they stimulate the economy through unfettered purchases, they perform social work and give back to society) or straight people whose only concern is the banality of living costs, owning a nice car and keeping every single penny for themselves?

The reality is this. The war today is not fought on lines of gender, sexuality or least of all, sexual preferences. It is however, fought on best ideas, fastest learners, highest productivities and cultural strength. Nothing in these areas do I see gay people underpeforming in any way.

Anyways, if someone told me I had to give up reading Oscar Wilde, or stop watching a Rupett Everett film or outlaw dancing to Karma Karma Karma Chameleon, we might as well all just be dead.

So my take, should we be championing gay laws, no. We should be championing for human laws. Should we remove it from the penal code? yes. Because I want the right to eat fried chicken. Should we all wear pink to work - probably. Black is so passe.

Read and gawk. Even better, read the comments!!http://news.asiaone.com/News/AsiaOne%2BNews/Singapore/Story/A1Story20071018-30840.html

Minna’s gravest advice ever levered on me was :"There is no such thing as thinking out of the box. Some peoples’ box are just bigger than others." Fact? Listening to Radiohead’s latest album In Rainbow simply blows my mind and we can all probably start a discussion on whether this album is yet another reflection of an outside-the-Radiohead-reference box creation, or simply a manifestation of their growing-box abilities.

In Rainbow is awesome to me on a lot of dimensions. The tunes are rockier and harder. It sends me back to some of that rocking feel of Kid A/ Amnesiac but the odd electronic blips of Hail to The Thief. It sounds new and fresh but also old. That creates a nostalgic feel between listener and band, it’s like knowing an old friend and having that comfort there but also being constantly tested to learn new dimensions. Overall, there is more guitarwork, lots of soulful layering and the enhanced use of organic instruments, as compared to their past electronic foray. The tunes are a lot more reachable, hummable and help us to focus on the tightness of the band and the song structures, quite unlike the previous album; Hail to The Thief was a wow fest on the gadgetry and smorgasborg of sounds used.

In Rainbow is bad news for record companies, an industry that has already been in the doldrums for a long time. Since Mp3s surfaced, since the advent of Kazaa, Napster and P2P file sharing, since music downloads and the way in which we interact with music changed. Their feeble attempts to have locked CDs that prevent file sharing have proven useless if not slightly cumbersome. Radiohead is one of the first bands to go eBay style. Pay what you think they are worth - their album In Rainbow is available for online download. You quote a willing price and you will receive a key code to retreive the album. The actual hardcase CD will come with lots of gimmicks, extra tracks and artwork - these will come at a hefty price of 40 quid. One of the greatest bands in our modern time will help change the face of recording music. No more convulated distribution channels, ridiculous mark-ups on CDs if you are in Europe, no more middle men. Bands see 100% of the profits (we hope), get paid for their dues and listeners get the music at the market clearing price - ie. your entire willingness to pay. No yield loss, no deadweight. We are one more step to efficient markets but it had to take a bunch of musicians to tell us how to make things work.

A lesson in good taste and great business acumen. If anything, we know for a fact that muscians do it IN time! click here to order. No wait. Cos’ I think I am going to cry now - this album is so fucking good.

I have a ritual every morning. Warren Buffett recommends that every person reads 3 journals daily. Mine consists of 1) The New York Times 2) Asia1.com.sg - for the very "localised" news 3) My leftover Economist articles from the week before - the fact that i am only 1 week behind on World news is a comforting thought…

Today is an odd day. Separately, I come across 2 articles on Japan and woke up chatting with Douglas about organ transplants in Japan. Un jour de rising sun. Apparantly, Japan faces a lot of problems getting kidney, liver donors or even cadavars. The concept of distinguished death, or preservation of the body results in doctors being unable to procure organs to save the living. This is odd, if not fucked up, since a body is a body and once dead, should have one last shot at being useful. But, that is the utilitarian in me speaking. Beauty is only as useful and necessary as it creates utility. Otherwise, it’s an indulgence.

Paid suicide: The killer who got paid $2,500 to commit suicide for a 21 year old girl. The trend of meeting over the internet, conducting group suicide is all very strange to me. It’s almost ironic - the post-modern economic boom of Japan has resulted in a post-modern depression that has afflicted Japan’s young. The best part about the quote, the killer said he would do anything just to earn money to…have fun. Is it my puritanical work ethics that simply have no respect for a people that do things, without conscience…for fun?! 5000 years of evolution sees us finally becoming kolar bears, except they don’t pollute the world with their sleeping and drug habits.

Anytime I work or visit Tokyo makes me wonder about how 20 million people fulfil their lives each day. Shopping, eating out, shopping, video arcade games, manga reading. It’s all about consumption - and I understand that, coming from a chinese background where there is a huge focus on ownership and the purchase of experiences. We don’t make experiences, we simply keep the buying frenzy and somewhere along the way, we will find momentary happiness in like…a limited edition Spawn figurine. Decadence is overwhelming, even if it comes in the form of silly Pachinko machines.

The Japanese spirit is hard to understand, much less codify - the use of haiku does not make it easier Like the French, a lot of what Japan is is simply… c’est comme ca. It cannot be explained, nor understood, perhaps even goes unquestioned.

When Welfare Becomes Unsociable: Japan is often thought of as an impassioned society, where the outward show of feelings is considered unnatural. But what gets me more is the moral guilt that surrounds the individual. People naturally feel bad for asking for things, or favours. So, in this case, where the welfare needy begs for food just doubles the punch. This story is pretty painful. Especially the bit about welfare officers who force welfare beneficiaries to sign forms to undeclare welfare needs since their personal promotions were tied to getting people off welfare. The pedentic, if not twisted nature of this scenario is something that I totally see happening. The concept of shame is somewhat strange to me, given that there really isnt no shame in needing to eat. It is somewhat shameful to spend every single waking moment thinking about what Gucci bags to buy.

Onward bound consumerism. And we all live one more day to eat.

The invite-only All women’s bookclub is Peishan’s genius of an idea. One book a month, 7 girls get together in someone’s house, discuss the book, other books, and mostly end up gossiping about life, jobs, boys and music. Did i fail to mention that we all have a common love for Indierock? The charter is simple and lightweight, quite like our discussions

This month’s bookclub meeting was at my house and The Kite Runner was the book of the month. Despite the controvesy surrounding the rape scene in the movie, whether it will ever be released, the fear of homosexuality and its non-existence, The Kite Runner is that, but a lot more. Which reminds me of the recent conference given by President Ahmadinejadand of Iran, who openly comments that "Our country has no gays" [paraphrase], one forgets that we live in a society that has become rather unconditional in its ability to accept personal choices.

Back to The Kite Runner? Do I like it? Is it well-written? Yes, it is, the author has utilized all the textbook forms of irony, allegory and imagery to create a perfect book of modern literature. The literary hooks are extremely obvious. The tenacious relationship between Amir and Hassan is touching, but strained, and the author does a great job at making us judge Amir, and yet, wishing for his sake, that he reconciles with himself, his emotions and his feelings towards his father. It gives us an in-depth insight into Afghanistan, its culture, its people and the food - which is always exciting. The imagery of the kite, free flying as it is, being the ultimate enjoyment for a people as repressed and controlled sets up the narrative parameters. Its characters and characterization is typically Asian, where self-sacrifice for the community is common, selflessness is considered a virtue, the emotionally remote parent-child relationship. It’s as Tessa says, "quite Amy Tan".

To spice up the bookclub this time around, we had a secret challenge. Each person was paired up with another person and received secret ingredients at the last minute to make a dish. Given the Afghanistan setting, I recommended ingredients used in Afghan cooking - rice, dumplings, beef, eggplants, raisins, fresh mint. Each team had to use all their ingredients in concert to create a dish. Sounds simple but try herding, cajoling and managing a hard-arse bunch of smarty-pants women and that was me - vowing never to do such a thing again!

But, I am extremely proud and pleased at the results. We had some seriously amazing concoctions.

Gin and Ci’en’s Baked Eggplant with Fresh Mint Leaves, balsamic vinegar and garlic

Tessa’s killer Wanton pockets with baked Beef balls dripped in wasabi mayonaise - i merely addled along and assisted

Peishan may not be able to cook, but she sure can dress for the occasion!

Peister in apron, being Ms Bossy - she never deviated from her rice and raisin receipe

We like to gossip, gossip, gossip!

Surprise visit from Stacey - who flew in specially from Beijing because she was nostalgic for us…obviously!

manger, manger

Tessa should be posting all the receipes soon enough. For the curious, check her space out.

http://www.facebook.com/notes.php?id=118296&ref=wpb

One of the best ways of destressing is to create an achievable target. Shin, me and Ally (well..mostly me) decided to bake something relatively ‘complex’. Added to this complexity, Shin announces that whatever we bake has to be flourless, since flour was not in a food group allowed in her blood type.

So, 2 parameters:

1) Something relatively complex

2) Must not have flour

Which lends itself to…voila! A souffle.

My fave gals whipping up a storm in my uber nice kitchen!

Thick chocolatey gunk - good enough to eat it on its own

Except…i have real trouble following instructions. Which results in an overzealous use of chocolate. So, souffle is now just…chocolate cake. mua kakakaka. but still yummy as hell!

Not a bad way to spend a sunday afternoon. This is what I call the good (if not domestic) life.

Someone told me today that "There are many well-adjusted 30 something women in Paris that are cool-headed….they don’t seem overly worried about getting into relationships or marriages." Laugh on, that sounds like something that is rattled off Sex in the City, one of those tv programs that were created just to let women think that marriage is somewhat unfashionable and any kind of wedding pangs can be quelled with a tequila, 5 margharitas, jimmy choo shoes and an IPL - preferably in that order as well.

And then I find myself at Linda’s wedding - the last I saw her was probably when we were all in high school, talking about boys and going to clubs. Fast forward 10 years and I am weeping loads at her wedding but I wasn’t the only pansy, her male collegues were also opening bawling. Weddings are touching, it’s the epitomy of a happy ending to a very long journey that encompasses love, sex, happiness, sacrifice and frankly, making decisions for one is pretty tough… getting two separate individuals with different upbringing, different backgrounds, who lived in different countries and for some, speak totally different languages, to somehow decide to 1) get married 2) make time to go through the harrowing logistics of planning a wedding 3) make life’s biggest trade-off decisions from the taste of the wedding cake to which relatives are allowed to sit together without a clawout and my fave part…4) profess their love openly in front of a crowd of 100. Now that is courage.

And so, are women or certain men truly well-adjusted without marriage? Somewhere around the 30-something range, there is a huge pressure to get hitched, one’s friends are quickly falling off the shelf, conversations start to surround kids, schools, domestic help. Somewhere in their 40’s, there is a huge distaste for marriage - the divorces pile up as people feel disillusioned about the sacrifices they have had to make thus far. Some remarry, others decide to play the field again. But there is one thing for certain, nobody wants to be alone. The extent to which people will go in order to not be alone manifests itself in many different ways: Some require marriage, some get coerced into it while some find "careless liasons" the best way forward.

Me? I love wedding cake. Smiles all around. and bawling at some random’s wedding, i have found out since, is not a sign of weakness. Many cry. It’s just bowing to enormity of love.

happy couple and the old girls gathering