in a blatant excuse to forget about applications or work, Vorspiel Indierock went ahead yesterday. It has been a long time coming for this to happen. Whenever i start planning the Vorspiel schedule, it’s always a little stressing as to what sound to introduce or which DJ to put on the deck. Having said that, it was a blast - with only 1 person coming up to me saying the music was "too loud". He must have been mad, just because the speakers were tiny beyond belief - so I really don’t know where he got too loud from. Must have hated The Killers or something.

i try not to get bothered and sucked in by the mindlessness of job applications but given that I have only put in 3 applications and received 1 ding (for a firm that i didn’t really want to work for anyhow), suddenly i feel slight sense of pressure. some of my best mates are interviewing starting Monday and i wish them all luck. At this rate, i might out come with a dud of a situation and having no job in hand. there are times where i wish i could be more zesty about it all, but then, things like that are hard. There hasn’t been something of a screaming right fit. and i have only sent out 1 resume unsolicited - which probably means it has a yield rate of negative 1000. i dont think it’s worth getting disappointed or feeling a sense of self-doubt but as it goes…one cant help it. shopping is key to boosting of happiness and i need a new laptop…but am obviously broke

woah, this guy OBVIOUSLY had a good time at Vorspiel - drunk out of his gutties.

  and….it wakes up!

my fave peeps:

sampson made it a BIG deal to remind everyone that he just cut, coloured etc his mane of a manhood. we can see why. rivals arsie for best haircut at insead. ed rice is looking slim and fit these days.

yanir is dodgy.

My remedy: Watch CSI (Season 7 is out!), gym, a haircut, lunch and on to more projects and hopefully, dancing in Paris tonight! Private Equity course is a workload killer. boo.

on to heartbreak tunes. My all time fave artist when it comes to rolling around in your bed teary-eyed, tired, sad and wondering why in the world you are feeling as shite as now - Matthew Sweet. We Are the Same is probably one of my fave tunes - it’s bittersweet and somewhat melancholic but there is a golden ray of hope at the end of it. More importantly, it’s about unmet expectations and why love as we know it, is hard, hopeless and leaves you feeling fatigued and slightly crazed. Here are the lyrics - and thank god for You Tube. Video link! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_eJEMrvgirA

I don’t have to speak and you know what I’m thinking
You don’t need to hear what I say
I don’t have to ask and you’ll guess what I’m seeking
You don’t need to hide what you know
Baby, we’re the same
When we fail in each other’s eyes
Baby, we’re the same
So you should not be surprised when I swear to you
I never told you what to do
Maybe it’s me
Maybe it’s you
I don’t have to act so you’ll know what I’m feeling
You don’t need to see to believe
Baby, we’re the same
When we shine in each other’s sky
Baby, we’re the same
Sometimes it’s me
Sometimes it’s you

Of course of those of us that remember Matthew Sweet’s seminal Girlfriend album - that one took my breath away. I was 16 and think I  prob had better taste then than now but that entire album was an album of pure heartache. just brilliant - crispy, sincere and beautiful.

in between sitting here and staring blankly at my decrepit laptop, and wondering where to find the energy to sit in another group meeting for 4 hours debating workable business models, i find my energy level sinkng to a new love but heartaches has a habit of doing that. it’s part of the occupational hazard of being in love in the first place. ah well. and so it goes.

Pateel did good yesterday by booking out a small and cute little bistro/ restuarant called Le Timbre in the 6th arrondisment. 18 of us motley crued beings drove into town with big hopes and a strong vow not to mention jobs. Of course, Charlie Sanford suggested that we not mention the the J.O.B word but how about everyone chatted about careers?

so, this is a summary of what i think represents an Insead profile. People just seem more life-style oriented, with high hopes of making a difference, of being in line management, of having a decent salary with opportunities for future growth. Or maybe, its simply self-selection of my friends. Or maybe, even if one was a power-hungry data gimp, one would quickly modify one’s outlook on life.

paris, london, new york, singapore, seoul - locations locations locations. so many things that one can put off thinking about. ah well, another day is always a better day to think about the less important things in life. of greater importance - Vorspiel Friday happens tomorrow and I finally get to do 1 Indierock session. woo hoo! check the new poster out. word up, see u there, squares!

i open my mail and get this warning?? from peishan. peishan is somewhat like my guardian angel of good common sense:

‘My high-flying City job was not worth a life of misery’ 

At 21, Cambridge graduate Polly Courtney was offered a prestigious job at a City investment bank. But her high hopes turned to despair - a battle against overwork, sexism and vicious backstabbing. By leaving she gave up generous pay and perks, but her survival depended on it. Her new novel, Golden Handcuffs, is about the experiences of young graduates in the Square Mile. She tells her story to Anushka Asthana

Fascinating and somewhat predictable but a common predicament that we all face. seriously. now that graduation is around the corner and the rat race has shifted from GPAs to job offers, i get a distant sense that I might be one of those that make the fallacy of thinking a city job is the right decision. given that the mba has installed a lower threshold for failure and increased the risk (and reward) of finding a big-money job, i have a feeling that there are just many jobs out there that we not consider anymore. perhaps, i will try to reapply back to MTV. i have only been rejected from 1 job in my lifetime and that was from MTV (for being overqualified. read: too expensive to pay)…i wonder 5 yrs later would it still be the same answer?!

i could allude to the stress of job hunting, but i can’t, mostly because i aint doing shite. and while good pals have scored about 5 interviews with 5 different companies (yay for them), i am sitting here, feeling unmotivated and fending off mosquitoes. summer has all these connatations - sun, heat, warmth and mosquitoes. the scratching part is nonetheless f-ing unglamourous. and the buzzing that comes with the tossing, scratching etc - all very uncool.

the days are sunny, the nights are cool - so how is it that i cant even bring myself to update my cv? the answer has to lie somewhere in between absolutely discounting myself at a rate of 100% (ie. not good enough for any rock star job) and being useless at asking myself strategic career questions - a strategy 5-forces type of approach. the window for job searches on campus is small, so it’s a make or break issue. at current forecast - its definitely looking like it’s breaking.

at least, there is sun to look forward to and big hip hop night in paris tomorrow. finally, i may even have a posse to roll with this time. righteous.

there is an urban legend that exists - it’s called P4 disease. As much as I disbelieved that life in investment banking could not possibly be all bad, and that job hunting season was not as stressful or tiring…i am wrong on all counts. Because life in iB is bad and job hunting leaves one with a sense of listlessness. I am sure there are tons of folks out there who derive a high from interacting with recruiters but i am not sure if I feel this zest. or maybe its the weather…or maybe, its because some bozo puked on my windscreen this morning and i had to spend 20 minutes scraping it off my car. The P4 disease has the following symtoms:

- extreme listlessness

- slowed speech

- inability to show up for classes and least of all, career presentations

- inability to schmooze appropriately at parties, career cocktails and with schoolmates discussing hedge funds, banking and consulting as a career

- glazed stare (extremely bad…not to be mistaken for afternoon tiredness post-lunch syndrome)

- need to hide basically

what is the worst thing an mba can give you? other than the sense of intelligence that allows you to hold any coversation for 30 minutes, the mba gives one a lot of excuses. because i now know so much more about the world, i almost have as many excuses not to partake in it. for every job that has upsides, it has as many downsides. the solution: mexico and burger flipping as a career choice might be key. amongst the P4’s there is consolatory commadarie, "good luck with the interview"…"lets practice for cases together". perhaps, there is the best thing about Insead, that people are decent and that people care. even better, its cool to care.

but then, one needs to have a think about jobs first. like all good project managers, i will set targets…and plan on sending out eh… 3 resumes. thats a pretty decent target i think. everythng else is just…deceptacon.